Does America have Talent?

The Acts
Commentary as it comes

1. Professional Finger-Snapper...wow. Cool. That was bad-ass. Dad...please stop trying to imitate it now. It's over.
   
2. Dave The Horn Guy...the 2nd song was better. A bit lame on his own.
   
3. Blue Velvet...the B52s minus the band.
   
4. missed one
   
5. Sid the Kid...stole the show.
   
6. Juggled dude...eh...seemed staged.
   
7. The Shadow Dancers...donkeys? Isn't that animal cruelty?Wow...this act is boring
   
8. Bernie Barker, The World's Oldest Male Stripper...any relation to Bob Barker? David Hasselholf totally enjoyed it. Dave just wanted to see naked old man.
   
9. Whitney-14-Years-Old...Alexis Jordan...big voice, ok. Let's see if she can take it home. Does she have a record contract already? I'd sign her. Damn. Brandy's acting like a proud mother. Katherine McPhee don't ever do Whitney again b/c this girl's got you beat. [side note: what's with the awesome kids??]
   
10. Saw Man...nope...he wasn't even on long enough for me to notice what exactly he was supposed to do.
    
11. Kevin Johnson...ventriloquist, WHAT?! How the hell does he do that? He was talking and his mouth wasn't moving...in fact, it was closed. WHA!? Top that Godzilla act Mr. Johnson. Do better and the kids might have some competition.
    
12. Cathy, Singing Harpist...Piers was right, funeral music is what she does best. Floating in the clouds perhaps too.
    
13. Harry Carry...impressions, wow this is sad. Yeah...dude...it was the microphone...uh huh...NOT
    
14. Vladimir...very Cirque Du Soleil, and cool.
    
15. Basketball People...totally Harlem Globetrotters without the patriotic get-up.
    
16. Nose Flute?...nuff said good heckler though...he was worth the personality
    
17. Betty, the Singer...
    
18. The Bright Eyes Twins...now that was such a Hairspray Moment
    
19. Juggler Dudes Ivan...cool music and lights...but lets see something that's world class
    
    Whoa...Brandi's about to go off on Piers and Dave. But back to the juggler.
    Dude, if you are a World-Class Juggler why are you juggling tennis balls? That's not exciting.
    
20. Magician...
    
21. Cow with Milky Utters Dave said it right..."Utterly ridiculous"
    
    I think this is beneath Regis. And this is too long for 2 hours of programming...it's entertaining but not THAT entertaining.
    
    
22. Gospel Man...way cool with the microphone gymnastics
    
23. Vladick...Yet another Juggler...a little more artsy. This was a cross between the gymnasts and juggling. THIS is juggling at the max. I totally agree with Piers.

I am tired...and I'm gonna go to sleep...click, it's off.
Sorry Simon Cowell, you had me for an hour and a half, but that's all I can handle. I'm not sticking around for the rapping granny, you'll have to let me know how that goes.

Goodnight.